A Life Update
This Post May Contain Affiliate Links. Please Read Our Disclosure PolicyI suppose I owe you a life update. I invited you on this crazy journey, so I should keep you in the loop, right?
(For those of you who are new here: last June I moved to Pittsburgh. If you need to catch up, it all started here and here.)
As much I would like to tell you that moving to Pittsburgh has dramatically changed my life, made everything happier / better, and opened up oodles of opportunities, I can’t … yet. I had hoped that relocating would be enough. – That a different place, more people, new and exciting activities, etc. would be the ticket to opening me up to a supremely happy existence. However, it just didn’t happen. Part of me didn’t want to write this post because I am embarrassed to still be in much the same situation seven months after moving here.
I know I only have myself to blame. Although I went to events, markets, restaurants, coffees shops, etc., I didn’t give it enough, do enough, put myself out there enough, or try hard enough. I could list a million reasons (some better than others), but they’d just be excuses.
To be fair, it hasn’t all been miserable and unsuccessful. I’ve met some people and made a couple new friends, plus I’m genuinely enjoying this urban location. I find so much joy in visiting local coffee shops, experiencing new-to-me foods, seeing city sites, etc. I’m glad I’m here. I’m happy I took the risk of moving here. However, in my mind, I just thought I’d be further along. Great expectations I suppose.
With that being said, I’m excited 2018 is here. I’ve spent the past two weeks in kind of a haze, bummed about my current situation, but that has to end. It’s time to hit the reset button and try again. I’m not quite sure how yet, but I’m planning and working on ways to be where I want to be. In fact, last week I hired a life coach as recommended by a reader. I’m hoping to make many positive changes through that.
I do realize that some of you are sick of hearing the same story again and again. I get it. I hate telling it over and over. How many times have I made proclamations here only to find myself in the same situation a few months down the road? Too many to count. But I guess there is something to be said for continuing to try. Life may kick me down, but I’m not going to let it keep me down. I’ve got to get it correct one of these times, right?
You also might be wondering about my house in St. Marys. Well, I sold it. I had no intention of doing so. However, a few months after my move, an opportunity presented itself, and I couldn’t say no. I knew the St. Marys house wasn’t my forever home, so it was time to let it go. It also happens that the folks who are buying the house want the contents, so packing up and moving shouldn’t be too hard. Naturally, I’ll be taking personal items, but I’m going to do my best to keep things to a minimum.
I’m not sad about selling, so please don’t be sad for me. I had a great run with that house, and thankfully, I have many pages here on IBC by which to remember it. If anything, I’m feeling anxious and unsettled about simply not having a “home.” Not the physical structure, but I place where I feel comfortable, a place where I belong.
So now what? Well, I’ve been house hunting in Pittsburgh. In fact, I was inches away from making an offer on a place, but my financing kept falling through. Even though things are in order now, and I could put in an offer today, I’m taking those many failed attempts as a sign from the universe to continue the search.
As grateful as I am for my apartment and the opportunities it’s given me, I can tell you that apartment living is not for me. I’m itching to be in a house again. Unfortunately, the housing market in Pittsburgh is rather slow this time of year, so my search for a house may take a little longer than I’d like. I suppose that’s a good thing though. It seems best not to rush things. It also gives me time to pause and figure out what I want and where I want to be.
So that’s what’s been going on in my personal life.
I had thought about including a bit about the blog and my direction for it, but I’ll save that for another post. In addition to my personal uncertainties, I’ve been struggling with the blog as well. (This was probably apparent in my almost three-week hiatus from IBC and social media.) I’m certain at some point I’ll reach out for your feedback and advice. Thanks for your patience in my absence.
I could go on and share more details, but I think that pretty much covers things. If you have questions, let me know in the comments, and I’ll do my best to answer them. I’m sure I’ve forgotten something.
As always, thank you for your love, support, and loyalty. You are dear to me.
Michael, you are just the sweetest person! Life is hard & even at my age (old!!!), I’m discontent & wonder if I’ve done anything worthwhile in life (deep down I know I have), but I do feel that way sometimes, as I’m sure others do as well!
You have touched so many people’s lives-just look at all the comments here! You are so very talented & we’ve all learned so much from you! I think you are way too hard on yourself! Just give yourself some more time & probably when you least expect it, happiness, a new home, a relationship, whatever you want/need will come your way!
I’ll be praying for you every day that 2018 is your year & things will start improving for you!!!
Hi Michael, this is the first personal post I’ve read of yours so please don’t feel like you’re inundating us with information. If anything, I’m sure this post makes quite a few of us feel better about ourselves because we identify with your situation. I love honesty and thank you so much for not trying to sell us stuff all the time. Congratulations on selling your house! Buying a home seems so out of reach for myself and others in my area because homes are so expensive here. But it sounds like a lovely goal to one day accomplish. You seem like a good guy so keep being you.
Oh Michael! If I had a son, he would be you and I would be so proud! A few years ago I did an experiment on myself. Being a born and bred Pittsburgher living in Oklahoma, I had the opportunity to move back east to Edinboro, near Erie and a few hours north of family. Well, like you, it was not to be. After a year and dealing with too much snow, I moved back to Oklahoma since my home was paid off.
At least we tried something new and evaluated the circumstances before it was too late. I’m enjoying your discovery of my home and favorite city. Take care, Fran
you sound so uncertain right now, but let me tell you: everything you’ve just written sounds incredibly brave to me! you are daring for something better, and you are going to make it happen … no strings! we are all pulling for you, and every single one of us would be your best friend and help you house hunt over brunch. you do what you need to do, and we will all be in your corner, cheering you on, waiting for that next amazing interior or cocktail recipe. this is an adventure for you; see it for the opportunity it is, knowing all along that there are so, so many people who have your back and want nothing but the best for you. and if you reach that point of “i just can’t right now,” there is no failure in that. listen to your heart and your gut, and you’ll find the perfect next project when it’s meant to be.
I love your little updates – even if you feel you are repeating yourself, or your life isn’t quite where you expected. You are so genuine and sincere. I have missed you on Insta though!! Post more pretty pics there please! After reviewing, again, your recap of 2017, I can’t help but think how much I would love a seasonal cookbook from IBC. You take such beautiful pictures and you have such fresh and lovely ideas. If I would love a cookbook, I’m sure others would to. Maybe even a quick little ebook??? At any rate, I’m excited to follow you through your home buying experience and I can’t wait to see where you take us next! Cheers!
Oh I enjoyed your post. We all have these times in our lives that are “uncomfortable “ to say the least. You are honest and that makes you humanly imperfect like the rest of us. That’s what makes you special. I’m currently feeling like that now. You will find a “home” in due time and it will be so fun to decorate wilth your impeccable style. I enjoy your feed and blog so much. It lifts my spirits to see the things you create and that I can do that too!! Keep your chin up! Sometimes life throws you lemons…so just make some lemonade!! Thanks for your decorating inspiration and your honesty. Here’s to feeling better soon!! Remember lots of others can relate. YOU ARE AWESOME!!
Michael, I haven’t met you, but I have thought about you ever since reading this post. Have you considered taking up a sport like bicycling? There are great bike clubs in most cities, and they embrace new cyclists. I bet you would find friends with common interests there. Then you could take on the challenge of biking form Pittsburgh to DC on the trail. We have done it the last six years, and it is so much fun. The thing about biking is that you can go as fast or as slowly as you want, and there will be someone who cycles that same speed with you.
Stay true to yourself Michael, Your message is heard way down here in Melbourne Australia.
I truly appreciate your honest message as too few people put themselves out there today and instead hide behind a facade. You are a true person and I, and, from what I read, many of your readers value your truth and of course all the wonderful design and decorating ideas.
Warm regards
Michael Johnson
Sorry for the double entry. Just read post that I thought you might relate to. It’s at http://www.hommemaker.com. I don’t know how much bloggers overlap but Orlando might be someone to talk to about what you’re going through on the blogging/personal front.
“These” kinds of posts are what make you a real person and the reason so many of us follow you. Hiring a life coach is a great idea! It will be good to have someone in your corner encouraging you to do the (sometimes) hard things and celebrate your successes. I admire you for pushing forward as that can be hard when the self doubt creeps in.
Congrats on selling your home! Obviously the universe thinks you should be in Pittsburgh.
Take care!
Michael, you are such a bright light that your joy has shown through in spite of the tough times that you’ve been experiencing. So it’ s particularly important that you share when you are down so that we can all be supportive of you. Your transparency is part of what makes you authentic. Your blog is amazing- you are creative both with food and decor, you’re a fabulous writer and you are genuine. All of those things make your blog compelling.
So happy that you are working with a life coach to get some guidance on what you want to do. Crossing my fingers that blogging continues to be a part of your future but if not I wish you happiness in whatever direction you head.
Wow, this post certainly opens up so many new potential directions to take! Thanks for being so brave and putting it out there.
By the looks of it, others can relate to these kinds of internal struggles. Perhaps it’s time to branch into more blogging about life in general? I know I’m hungry to hear what works and what doesn’t!
And moving your home will be a BIG exciting topic! Can’t wait to see where yo ultimately land.
I’m rethinking adding a few more topics to my blogging agenda myself. Life is so seldom perfect yet that’s what we attempt to portray online. Perhaps a little reality could be a nice balance…
Regardless on how you move forward, I’ll be watching.
Meant to add… I’d love nothing more than to follow some new-to-you travels into that big world out there! Including places you stayed, etc. I know you do a lot of traveling through sponsors however off the beaten track and more time spent may spur on unexpected adventure you didn’t even know you needed.
As you can see we have all been in your shoes in one form or another. Have you thought about connecting with other bloggers in the Pittsburgh area? Or perhaps teaching a class on blogging in their community Adult Ed programs? I have found (as an introvert) that regular consistent contact with others is the key to making friends. This too shall pass.
In my other life (WAS married to a corporate climber) we transferred alot. It honestly took a year to get to know new locations. Funny thing was, we almost always transferred after one year so that was difficult for me and my two children. (btw, we have since lived in one place now for 20 years!) Give it time…. you’ll make more friends, find new favorite spots, maybe even fall in love. You’ll be fine! be happy! .
I just found and joined your site, and love what I’ve seen. I hope you will not give up. Instead, just keep strong, and praying, and I am sure you will be put on the right road, good luck on your house search. Really, this is the fun time, so long as your write down what you want, what you would be willing to let go of, if the home do not have that one thing. Always remember, this could be a home you live in for sometime, so go slow if that’s what you need to do. As for your move to Pittsburgh, that too, will workout. You seem like a lovely person, one who is fun to get to know, and hangout with. In time more new friends will come into your life. Just remember, things happens for a reason.
Michael, I have been enjoying your blog for a little over a year now. I love how open and honest you are. We all struggle at different times and it doesn’t make you a failure. Only by failing at something so we learn and grow towards what we will be, and who we are. It means you are trying and achieving the life you want.
Keep on going. Seven months is not that much time when you consider the tremendous changes you have made.
I love your style!
PS- I was born and raised in Pittsburgh. Moved after college but still go back regularly. It’s an amaIng place.
Hello ALL! I had intentions on responding to each and every one of you because you have all been SO GRACIOUS and KIND and WONDERFUL. While I know I have THE BEST readers, I never expected such a wonderful response. Thank you. Thank you!! I’ll do my best to respond to as many as I can. However, I wanted to pop in to thank you all SOOOOOO much for your comments, emails, texts, etc. You have all filled my heart so much. I’ve also learned, gathered, and considered alllll of your suggestions. I’m certain many will extremely helpful. Thank you again and again for all of your support love and encouragement. It means the world to me!
xo Michael
Sending you a big hug! And hoping you find contentment, which often starts within oneself. it is challenging to make a new start, and I think you are brave to do so. Your posts are a delight to follow; you are talented, well spoken and creative. Give yourself some time, keep looking for social opportunities, maybe volunteer? Does your local library or college offer free or low cost book clubs, etc? You have lots of people cheering you on, and I hope you have the best 2018 imaginable!
It will all come together. I love your post, your design style and seeing your homes. If I knew you in real life I’m sure we’d be friends.
This post was amazing and extremely encouraging to me. Thank you for being so honest. You are truly inspiring.