A Life Update

This Post May Contain Affiliate Links. Please Read Our Disclosure Policy

I suppose I owe you a life update. I invited you on this crazy journey, so I should keep you in the loop, right?

(For those of you who are new here: last June I moved to Pittsburgh. If you need to catch up, it all started here and here.)

As much I would like to tell you that moving to Pittsburgh has dramatically changed my life, made everything happier / better, and opened up oodles of opportunities, I can’t … yet. I had hoped that relocating would be enough. – That a different place, more people, new and exciting activities, etc. would be the ticket to opening me up to a supremely happy existence. However, it just didn’t happen. Part of me didn’t want to write this post because I am embarrassed to still be in much the same situation seven months after moving here.

I know I only have myself to blame. Although I went to events, markets, restaurants, coffees shops, etc., I didn’t give it enough, do enough, put myself out there enough, or try hard enough. I could list a million reasons (some better than others), but they’d just be excuses.

To be fair, it hasn’t all been miserable and unsuccessful. I’ve met some people and made a couple new friends, plus I’m genuinely enjoying this urban location. I find so much joy in visiting local coffee shops, experiencing new-to-me foods, seeing city sites, etc. I’m glad I’m here. I’m happy I took the risk of moving here. However, in my mind, I just thought I’d be further along. Great expectations I suppose.

With that being said, I’m excited 2018 is here. I’ve spent the past two weeks in kind of a haze, bummed about my current situation, but that has to end. It’s time to hit the reset button and try again. I’m not quite sure how yet, but I’m planning and working on ways to be where I want to be. In fact, last week I hired a life coach as recommended by a reader. I’m hoping to make many positive changes through that.

I do realize that some of you are sick of hearing the same story again and again. I get it. I hate telling it over and over. How many times have I made proclamations here only to find myself in the same situation a few months down the road? Too many to count. But I guess there is something to be said for continuing to try. Life may kick me down, but I’m not going to let it keep me down. I’ve got to get it correct one of these times, right?

A Life Update | Inspired by Charm

You also might be wondering about my house in St. Marys. Well, I sold it. I had no intention of doing so. However, a few months after my move, an opportunity presented itself, and I couldn’t say no. I knew the St. Marys house wasn’t my forever home, so it was time to let it go. It also happens that the folks who are buying the house want the contents, so packing up and moving shouldn’t be too hard. Naturally, I’ll be taking personal items, but I’m going to do my best to keep things to a minimum.

I’m not sad about selling, so please don’t be sad for me. I had a great run with that house, and thankfully, I have many pages here on IBC by which to remember it. If anything, I’m feeling anxious and unsettled about simply not having a “home.” Not the physical structure, but I place where I feel comfortable, a place where I belong.

So now what? Well, I’ve been house hunting in Pittsburgh. In fact, I was inches away from making an offer on a place, but my financing kept falling through. Even though things are in order now, and I could put in an offer today, I’m taking those many failed attempts as a sign from the universe to continue the search.

As grateful as I am for my apartment and the opportunities it’s given me, I can tell you that apartment living is not for me. I’m itching to be in a house again. Unfortunately, the housing market in Pittsburgh is rather slow this time of year, so my search for a house may take a little longer than I’d like. I suppose that’s a good thing though. It seems best not to rush things. It also gives me time to pause and figure out what I want and where I want to be.

So that’s what’s been going on in my personal life.

I had thought about including a bit about the blog and my direction for it, but I’ll save that for another post. In addition to my personal uncertainties, I’ve been struggling with the blog as well. (This was probably apparent in my almost three-week hiatus from IBC and social media.) I’m certain at some point I’ll reach out for your feedback and advice. Thanks for your patience in my absence.

I could go on and share more details, but I think that pretty much covers things. If you have questions, let me know in the comments, and I’ll do my best to answer them. I’m sure I’ve forgotten something.

As always, thank you for your love, support, and loyalty. You are dear to me.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

118 Comments

  1. I love your blog, style, and recipes! Your blog is one of the handful that I visit regularly. You always create interesting content and never seem like you are “phoning it in” like some of the other bloggers out there. I have a suggestion for if you would like to get feel like a part of the community. Have you ever thought about donating your considerable creative talents to some place like the Carnegie Museums and Library? The Pittsburgh Center for Creative Reuse, The Greater Pittsburgh Arts Council, The Mattress Factory, Heritage Hospice, and Art Expression are also looking for creative people like you to volunteer. You would meet a lot of people and feel good about giving back!

  2. Remember these things:
    1. You are awesome!
    2. What you are going thru is perfectly normal.
    3. If you can learn to navigate Pittsburgh, you can do anything!!! (I grew up 90 miles South of Pittsburgh and still take the scenic route when visiting therel.
    4. You are going thru a personal growth stage so there will be some bumpy roads ahead but you will emerge happier and wiser for your journey!

    P.S. If you get in another funk, contact me. I have a Master’s in Social Work.

  3. Thank you for not being perfect! Your struggles illustrate feelings most of us encounter to varying degrees. I have found again and again that there are usually no simple solutions. I, too have tried running away (relocating). Even though moving 8,000 miles from home did have a significant impact on the overall trajectory of my life, the problems at the core remained. I am in my fifties, seemingly old and smart enough to know better, right? It’s life’s way of teaching us. Until we get to the core of what is truly holding us down, none of the outward changes will have a profound and lasting impact. You are on the right path. I look forward to the insights working with a life coach will give you. And You are a gifted blogger, don’t ever doubt that.

  4. Michael, can I make a suggestion? About a few years ago my daughter was feeling at a crossroads too and just unsure of what she could do about it. She said, “Mom, I need to go on a soul trip. I encouraged her to do it. She didn’t make any reservations and just packed a small bag, and her camera and headed out on an adventure. Before she left she “unplugged” herself from social media, and only kept me accessible on her phone. She is by no means a “nature girl” but ended up in a tranquil spot with cabins the first nite. She had a nice dinner and then walked on the nature trails with her camera in tow. She left that spot the next day and continued her adventure. She ended up in Niagara Falls that day and explored, the next day she headed back towards home and found a small charming town full of cute shops and streets. She decided to stay that night and come home the next morning. She came home excited and full of wonderful stories. She did a lot of thinking and contemplating what she liked about her life and what she didn’t like, and she made a mental plan to change it. Every month after her return I saw changes in her, very positive changes. She cut out everyone and everything in her life that was negative and bringing her down. Then she focussed on positive people in her life and positive things she wanted to do with her life.
    She still fondly talks to everyone about her “soul trip” and how being away from everything gave her focus and clarity about what she needed to do to find more happiness in her life. She tells everyone that if they haven’t yet, they should do a “soul trip” at least once in their lives, just to “disconnect from the stresses and the normal routines” even for a short time.
    We are often too hard on ourselves and put too much pressure on “where we should be, how we should be, and what we should be doing.
    I have followed you for years, and you are amazing and extremely talented. You have greats things headed your way in your future Michael, don’t put too much pressure on yourself to have it all happen right now.
    Take a “soul trip”! Do it for you and only you!
    You will feel much better!
    P.S…. I’d love to know how it goes!!! Big hugs!
    Lisa

  5. Hi Michael, I’ve been reading your blog for a good while and I find them to be interesting and enlightening. I’ve stopped subscribing to most of the blogs that I had followed. You are so very creative and I hope you continue. It sounds like your comments came from the heart. That took courage. I admire your moving. We were in the military for twenty years. When we were very young, we were stationed in a small village in northern Greece. Sounds wonderful and exciting and in some ways, it was. But in many ways I realized that I was one of those people who was afraid to venture outside. It was terrifying for me to venture to the grocer or down the street. But I made myself do it. Made a fool of myself more than once trying to buy groceries and not speaking Greek correctly. But having said all that, my youngest moved to Pittsburgh for two years for a residency at UPMC. Could I make a suggestion that you try to volunteer some at the hospital. I’ll bet you’ll meet some great people there In the spring there are wonderful outside concerts where everyone packs picnics. Lots of talented folks. And last of all, take an interesting class and get out and enjoy the many sports. And if you decide to move try Charlottesville, VA. It’s beautiful with so many things to do. Good luck and I’ll say a little prayer for you.

  6. Hi Michael, I really enjoy reading your blog. I read many blogs but there are times when I cannot read them all but I always make sure I read your blog. Making friends and finding interesting activities takes time no matter where you are and you are very new to Pittsburgh. I wish you well and obviously lots of other readers do too. We are all looking forward to amazing articles in the future.

  7. Hi Michael, Have you read any literature about Highly Sensitive People? (Elaine Aron has an informative book, “The Highly Sensitive Person”. I also like the website “The Happy Sensitive” Caroline Van Kimmenade.) When I read your blog, especially when you share deeper personal matters, I sense that you’re a person of DEEP feelings and a KEEN awareness of all thing sensory. It’s what makes you special! But it can also make life challenging. Perhaps this doesn’t resonate at all with you, but I’m offering it up as a sincere and heartfelt desire to encourage you along in your journey. I think readers ‘get you’, but I wonder if you feel often as many of us HSP’s do, that people you meet don’t ‘get you’? Also, I’m not a churchy kind of person, but I do think so many in today’s world have a God-shaped hole in their hearts. I can’t deny how the spirit of God can penetrate all forms of darkness. Perhaps there is a church or fellowship group that would provide you with meaningful connections. God, after all, does work through people. Nothing to lose, right? Try something new! Renew your faith. Keep being real, doing what you do, and KNOW that the light and beauty you share will all come back to you. Thanks for the inspiration. Gobs! xoxo

  8. It’s funny I opened an email from you the very day I was rereading your article in the Christmas BH&G magazine. You are so funny and talented and willing to put yourself out there. Just remember life is a journey, not a destination, and you don’t know what the future holds and what you will encounter next. Hiring a life coach sounds like a great idea. I wish you all the best and enjoy your honest and open posts.

  9. Hi Michael, even though you are not where you though you would be – don’t be so hard on yourself! Some of are still striving every day to find what we think we want out of life. It is a constantly evolving process. You stated that you have made a few friends, and are genuinely enjoying the urban location. Keep on doing the things you love, the others will fall into place, maybe not quite on your timeline, but continue to be YOU! There are so many of us that follow you and love you for who you are – always remember that. Looking forward to hearing more! Julie, in Idaho

  10. Michael don’t think you are alone. Thirty years ago I got married and left my small town where I had a lot of friends. I moved thinking how easy it would be to find and make friends. It was much harder than I would ever have imagined and I’m a friendly person!! Thirty years later I have made friends who I cherish. My daughter moved three years ago and is in the same boat as you. New Friendships are are hard to find making unhappiness ooze in making you feel depressed. Don’t give up!!! You will find and make friends who are worthy of you. In the mean, take time to think want your are looking for, get out everyday (Pittsburgh is gloomy on these cold winter days), and keep inspiring the rest of us, you have a talent for decorating and style. You’ll find your way. Who knows I may run into you somewhere in Pittsburgh. I’ll introduce myself and give you more motherly advice and maybe you’ll help me with my decorating!!! Be well and find things to make “the cup half full” instead of seeing it half empty!!! Looking forward to your new inspirations!!!

  11. Brave. That is what comes to my mind when I think of you, Michael. My husband’s family is from Upper Saint Clair in Pittsburgh and it is lovely! The people are genuine and the setting is gorgeous. Continue being brave! Write that book, publish that blog posting, trust in yourself! We do.

  12. I am a relatively new reader to your blog, but you certainly don’t present yourself as a “sad Sam”. I do sense an overwhelming sense of sadness and frustration in this post, but I also know that you have posted the events in your life over the past year as productive and seemingly positive. I think that you are feeling what we all feel at times; but yours may be lasting for a longer period of time than what some feel. I am not a psychologist, but I think you are attempting all the right things. If I can give an unprofessional opinion, it seems that you need to find a way to connect to a friend (or a few friends) in a deeper way. I cannot tell you how to do that, but I know that if we lived close, you would be the exact type of person I’d love to have as a friend and to do many things with. I’m sure your personality would be one many people would like. Making new friends is not easy, but continue to put yourself out there and to seek groups of like minded persons. Perhaps getting a part time job in a design firm or some similar business would bring more of those types of persons into your life. See the life coach or a psychologist or any other person you can meet and talk with regularly. Join a book club if you can find one that is a mixed group of ages and sexes as I think you attract a variety of people with your interests and abilities. My best piece of advice is to stop beating yourself up; what you have accomplished in the past year does not reflect failure in any sense of the word. I hope that you can make connections that are close by and see where they lead you. Continue this blog and getting a new home will only increase the amount of blog material we’d all love to read. I am pulling for you and hope that your happiness factor increases tenfold or more this year. You are liked and loved by your many blog readers. (BTW- don’t underestimate the depressing “climate” we are all living under due to the politics of this past year. Many persons are deeply depressed about the hatred and vitriol being broadcast every day. Take a break from the tv or social media on a regular basis if that’s what you need to do)

  13. Hey there Michael! Life is full of highs and lows and things always work out for the better. ALWAYS! You will make whatever house you find a beautiful warm and inviting HOME! We are all there for you. Well I am at least if you need to chat.YOU are an inspiration to many and no one is Superman so taking time off to recharge is well needed. love you!

  14. Micheal,you have so many followers ! My words of support and wisdom have all been written. I just wanted to add that’s it’s always taken me a long time to settle comfortably into a new life (ie. years!). Hang in there. One day you’ll wake up and realize your there.
    I also am interested in your house search. Prayers for you. ” nana Micki “.

  15. You are so talented and touch so many people’s lives through this blog – don’t ever forget that. Your 2017 looked like a banner year to me – you accomplished so much, were recognized in magazines, and moved and decorated a new home! Social media makes us all think everyone else has it all together. Comparison is the thief of joy! Besides, most of life isn’t made-up of highs and lows, but LOTS of in-betweens. Every day think of 3 things to be thankful for, and then just go and do your best. Life happens when you are busy making other plans.

  16. Michael, I have relocated 8 different times for business. Each time I was super excited and certain I would find an exciting new life. The reality is it is very difficult to relocate as a single person and walk into a great work and/or social life. If you have children relocation is much easier. My lessons learned too late are: 1. Push yourself to get out, even to a flower stand and start talking to people. Who knows what you will learn or who you will meet, 2. If the city has social clubs comprised of many different organizations, join, join, join. There are hiking groups, cooking clubs, garden clubs, etc. I feel certain Pittsburgh would have these. 3. If you have any religious affiliations, join a church or two and see what they have to offer. One local church here is made up of mostly blue collar older people yet it has one of the best singles clubs I have ever seen, so you never know. 4. Take a class at a local community college or big blue Pitt, 5. Volunteer in something that interests you. There are many others, like I said that I discovered too late. I lived in some great cities, San Jose, San Francisco, Cleveland, Chicago, and Baltimore and other than San Francisco, I didn’t reach out and find out what the cities could DO FOR ME. Take your time and don’t be hard on yourself. You have made some serious life changes plus working from home does not provide you with immediate work family “friends”. I have been there and feel your pain. Best wishes from a reader who is old enough to be your mother. Go for it!