A Life Update
This Post May Contain Affiliate Links. Please Read Our Disclosure PolicyI suppose I owe you a life update. I invited you on this crazy journey, so I should keep you in the loop, right?
(For those of you who are new here: last June I moved to Pittsburgh. If you need to catch up, it all started here and here.)
As much I would like to tell you that moving to Pittsburgh has dramatically changed my life, made everything happier / better, and opened up oodles of opportunities, I can’t … yet. I had hoped that relocating would be enough. – That a different place, more people, new and exciting activities, etc. would be the ticket to opening me up to a supremely happy existence. However, it just didn’t happen. Part of me didn’t want to write this post because I am embarrassed to still be in much the same situation seven months after moving here.
I know I only have myself to blame. Although I went to events, markets, restaurants, coffees shops, etc., I didn’t give it enough, do enough, put myself out there enough, or try hard enough. I could list a million reasons (some better than others), but they’d just be excuses.
To be fair, it hasn’t all been miserable and unsuccessful. I’ve met some people and made a couple new friends, plus I’m genuinely enjoying this urban location. I find so much joy in visiting local coffee shops, experiencing new-to-me foods, seeing city sites, etc. I’m glad I’m here. I’m happy I took the risk of moving here. However, in my mind, I just thought I’d be further along. Great expectations I suppose.
With that being said, I’m excited 2018 is here. I’ve spent the past two weeks in kind of a haze, bummed about my current situation, but that has to end. It’s time to hit the reset button and try again. I’m not quite sure how yet, but I’m planning and working on ways to be where I want to be. In fact, last week I hired a life coach as recommended by a reader. I’m hoping to make many positive changes through that.
I do realize that some of you are sick of hearing the same story again and again. I get it. I hate telling it over and over. How many times have I made proclamations here only to find myself in the same situation a few months down the road? Too many to count. But I guess there is something to be said for continuing to try. Life may kick me down, but I’m not going to let it keep me down. I’ve got to get it correct one of these times, right?
You also might be wondering about my house in St. Marys. Well, I sold it. I had no intention of doing so. However, a few months after my move, an opportunity presented itself, and I couldn’t say no. I knew the St. Marys house wasn’t my forever home, so it was time to let it go. It also happens that the folks who are buying the house want the contents, so packing up and moving shouldn’t be too hard. Naturally, I’ll be taking personal items, but I’m going to do my best to keep things to a minimum.
I’m not sad about selling, so please don’t be sad for me. I had a great run with that house, and thankfully, I have many pages here on IBC by which to remember it. If anything, I’m feeling anxious and unsettled about simply not having a “home.” Not the physical structure, but I place where I feel comfortable, a place where I belong.
So now what? Well, I’ve been house hunting in Pittsburgh. In fact, I was inches away from making an offer on a place, but my financing kept falling through. Even though things are in order now, and I could put in an offer today, I’m taking those many failed attempts as a sign from the universe to continue the search.
As grateful as I am for my apartment and the opportunities it’s given me, I can tell you that apartment living is not for me. I’m itching to be in a house again. Unfortunately, the housing market in Pittsburgh is rather slow this time of year, so my search for a house may take a little longer than I’d like. I suppose that’s a good thing though. It seems best not to rush things. It also gives me time to pause and figure out what I want and where I want to be.
So that’s what’s been going on in my personal life.
I had thought about including a bit about the blog and my direction for it, but I’ll save that for another post. In addition to my personal uncertainties, I’ve been struggling with the blog as well. (This was probably apparent in my almost three-week hiatus from IBC and social media.) I’m certain at some point I’ll reach out for your feedback and advice. Thanks for your patience in my absence.
I could go on and share more details, but I think that pretty much covers things. If you have questions, let me know in the comments, and I’ll do my best to answer them. I’m sure I’ve forgotten something.
As always, thank you for your love, support, and loyalty. You are dear to me.
MIchael,
Thank you so much for your post. I am a log time reader. I am so inspired by your candor and bravery. It’s not easy to admit things aren’t where you want them to be. I think you will find most everyone can relate to a season in our lives like that. Praying this tough season for you makes way for lots of wonderful opportunities, growth and happiness. Thank you for your continued inspiration, both with your honesty and design! ❤️
I’ve felt that “haze” too, and this sounds a lot like how I felt for most of 2016. It took a while, but I am in a totally different place now, and I’m so glad I allowed myself a little forgiveness then. I now realize it was “before ___” and leading me to really great things. So, you don’t be too hard on yourself about “should” and savor these “before” moments. After it came love and deeper friendships and some personal growth I really needed. From the looks of the comments above, you have plenty of people rooting for you too! I am excited to see what 2018 will bring you. Also, I am pretty sure this might be the first year I will be at the same conference as you, so I hope we get to actually meet! First glass o’ wine is on me! 😉 Best wishes for 2018!
Hi Sarah,
I had a chance to visit your website and it’s awesome. I’m so happy you’re back on track and inspiring others. I also had to follow on Insta.
I loved reading this update. I think of you often & I hope you know how loved you are by so many. You are so inspiring & we are all rooting you on. I can’t tell you how much I can relate to so much of what you said… so so much. You are not alone. Hugs friend! xx
happy to hear from you. love your voice and honesty, I think the truth is more people struggle but are too afraid to admit it. No shame, no worries. You actually get unlimited do-overs. Enjoy the ride. Fall in total love with you. Do what feeds your soul. Ultimately you are the only one you have to please, Thanks for sharing your journey with us!
Thanks for sharing Michael! I’m super proud of you for all the risks you take. You’re a great inspiration to many!! Wishing you lots of love and everything you desire and deserve! Cheers to a new and fabulous year!!
Xoxo,
Amy
Hugs to you Michael. Your creativity, ideas, and inspiration bring a lot of joy to me and your other readers. The life coach sounds like a great way to stay on track with achieving your dreams.
Hey, Michael! I’ve been following you for a long time. I absolutely adore you and your style. This post exposes your vulnerability and is the most touching, authentic blog post I have read in quite some time. Not many bloggers(or people) are willing to let down their walls like you have. So refreshing! I struggle daily with self doubt, so I haven’t stepped out to start my business or blog and it’s been buried in my heart for YEARS!
I’m just finishing reading “Crash the Chatterbox” by Steven Furtick and it has blown my mind when it comes to fears and doubt creeping in. It’s faith-based, if that matters, just FYI. Also, following Jennifer Allwood on FB is quite empowering, especially for creative business owners. Check her out!
And for just living your best life in general, Rachel Hollis ROCKS!!!! She runs a digital media company in LA, The Chic Site. Seriously, has helped me in more ways than I can even mention. Her audience is primarily female but the life altering truths that slay the lies we believe about ourselves applies to everyone! Follow her on Facebook.
Lastly, you took a risk and moved to a new area, just because. That took courage! A huge leap of faith! Searching for that elusive “thing”, even if you aren’t sure what the thing is is something that 99% of people only talk about but never act on. Keep on keeping on because you are quite inspiring! You do you, live your best life! Xoxoxoxoxo
Love you,Michael! You are such an inspiration. So glad to see your update. With your talent and love of life, things are bound to improve.
Sorry it has been proving so hard for you but delighted you are oushing through and going for the reboot.
I love your style and your personality and find both inspiring!
Wishing you all the best on this next stage of your journey 💕
Thank you Mairi! <3
xo Michael
Happy New Year Michael! I’ve been following you since the early B&B days and have ALWAYS been inspired by what you are doing at the time! Including now! You just took 3 weeks off like the rest of us. Time to regroup and decide what 2018 will be like! Sell the house, travel a bit, take some time to just be. OR get that new house, jump head first in to decorating and making it home! Both sound like great options….the cool thing is that you have options! You are so talented, you will succeed at whatever you decide to do. Hugs from California!
I love your perspective and attitude, Mandi! Thank you so much. Hope you have a great year!
xo Michael
I’m a new reader and I’m old enough to be your grandma, and this post breaks my heart. You are amazing and so talented. I’m sure your life will turn around soon. Hang in there!
Thank you, Alice. But don’t let it break your heart – here’s hoping it’s just a stepping stone. Thanks for reading.
xo Michael
I follow three blogs and yours is one that inspires me. You write as if we are sitting around a kitchen table and talking to us as friends. Thank you and continue to be yourself because that is what we as your followers like about you. Looking forward to future updates 😊
I’m so honored to be part of the three you follow. Honestly. Thank you for your kind words and continued support.
xo Michael
Oh my goodness I just realized you actually responded – thank you!!!
I’m in the same, yet opposite boat right now. A year ago we moved to Wyoming from Houston and it’s just not even close to what I thought. I love your blog and insta. Best of luck!!
I feel ya. Sending lots of love your way. Hope you find your footing soon.
xo Michael
Hi Michael, I am in agreement with all of the wonderful people who commented prior to me about this blog post. I am going through a very tough life transition right now and it’s not easy. It’s hard not to compare yourself to where other peers are and that can bring you down or what you’re “expected” to be doing. After I was so hard on myself for many failed relationships or opportunities, I realized that each taught me something invaluable, even though I sure did not think it at the time. The greatest lesson was patience and recently, short term goals. Short ones to realistically live by and accomplish.
And sometimes, we get so lost in our own bubble that we just do not see that so many others around us have trials they are going through, too. We just may fall down the rabbit hole of this is what we “should” be doing.
We all know nothing is easy and it will come together with hard work and patience.
I think the life coach is a fantastic idea and that may be just the soundboard you need to begin finding out who you really are and what inspires you.
Best of luck with everything and I look forward to your posts this year, weaving us through your creativity and your personal updates. I’m excited for the journey! 😊
xoxo…
I love seeing your life posts as well as the IBC ones. Prayers for your finding your way through this and being even better on the other side.
The new year is always a hard time for me. Instead of the blank slate full of possibilities it seems to be for everyone else, it always feels like a reminder of the things I wanted that didn’t happen the year before. In 2017 I had 4 big goals for the year, and if I were to write down goals for 2018 they would be exactly the same. None of the big things I wanted happened, and not for lack of trying. It can be depressing. But what I’m trying (not always successfully) is to focus on the good things that DID happen. I hope you know how inspiring you are to people you don’t even know, and I hope you find the happiness you’re looking for. You have lots of people on your side!
You are an inspiration. Many people wouldn’t be as brave as you are to be so real and raw. I think we all go through times where we are lost,or just don’t feel like ourselves. I know i have. I don’t know you personally but, I only wish the best for you. I hope you find the path that leads you to the most joy and happiness a person can have.
Another thought…. have you considered traveling abroad…. taking a tour of your favorite country or two might be enlightening…. new decor & design ideas. new experiences. new friends. new subject matter for social media content. Maybe your best adventure for right now! It’s harder to travel when you have the responsibilities of home ownership. You’re young & the benefits from travel are amazing! Sign up for a two week tour with a reputable company & pack your bag.
Ummmm. As much as you think life is easier or better for people around you, MOST are in the same situation as you…. I call it “trying to figure out what I want to BE when I grow up” phase. And, I think that’s where you are right now. You have a new place, but haven’t found your people yet. Give it Time! The LIFE COACH appointment sounds like a fabulous start…. I was wondering if you are still thinking your current city is the place to be? Originally, I thought you said it was driveable from the house you just sold & it had a lot of the character you were seeking. MAYBE, there is another location that would serve you better?? A LIFE COACH would be able to help you figure that out. Have you thought about joining the Chamber of Commerce or a similar organization where you could meet new people? how about a dinner club? book club? or a gathering of people who have similar interests as you!! Something to consider. I would bet next year at this time you’ll be able to report that you’ve found a “niche” and have the comraderie of a group of people to enjoy all life has to offer! A final note… needing to take a break from social media is NOT a bad thing. It’s not an ALL OR NOTHING situation. We admire your honest, thoughtful posts as well as your creativity in design, cooking and home decor.