Life Update: Rest and Reset

Happy 2024! I hope your new year is off to a fantastic start.

I must admit, I’ve rewritten this post about half a dozen times. I was undecided about what to express and share, but I think I’ve finally landed on something.

My year began wonderfully slow pace. Apart from some painting, taking down and reorganizing Christmas decor, and battling a bad cold, I haven’t done much. Some might call it laziness or procrastination, but I see it as a much-needed rest. Usually, guilt creeps in whenever I’m idle, but this year, I’ve managed to keep that feeling at bay… kinda. Lol.

Yesterday, as I stowed away the last of my Christmas decorations, I felt ready to gradually return to life and work. Well, I think I am, ha!

I’m not big on resolutions, but I do view the new year as a fresh start and a time for reflection. Last year was packed with great moments: turning 40, spending nine days in France with my mom at an art retreat, seeing Adele in Vegas, attending another art workshop in Nashville with one of my favorite artists, and more.

In 2023, I revamped my website and dedicated a substantial amount of time to backend clean-up. I published 340 blog posts – half were new content, and the rest were thoroughly revised and optimized old posts. There was a lot of tedious, behind-the-scenes work involved. It’s fair to say it was my busiest and most productive year in 15 years of blogging.

While I’m proud of my accomplishments, at times I felt overwhelmed and worried which sometimes left me feeling pretty miserable.

Work has been a top priority for many years, but last year it seemed to take over. I was obsessively checking metrics to see if my efforts were paying off. Every morning before anything else (other than my cup of coffee), I’d start by creating Pinterest graphics, planning blog edits, or checking if previous work had made a difference. Despite using tools to track progress, fluctuations in numbers (often beyond my control) would deeply affect my mood and spirit.

But there’s more to the story than just work.

I realized this past year that I’ve somewhat lost touch with who I am, or perhaps I’ve changed and haven’t yet rediscovered myself. It’s likely a mix of both.

While the internet and social media’s abundance of information is incredible, I find myself getting lost in it. The allure of so many shiny, beautiful things online made me feel pressured to conform, assuming that others’ paths to success and happiness would work for me too.

Intermittently throughout the year, I paused to ponder what I genuinely love and what makes me happy, but the answers weren’t clear. Even activities I enjoy, like painting and decorating, were clouded with doubts: “Am I doing this right? Is it good enough? Will someone I admire approve? Is that tool they’re using the key to success?”

Moreover, I’ve noticed an abundance of conflicting advice everywhere: “Be authentic, yet conform to norms. Eat healthily, but also indulge because life is short. Work hard, yet prioritize self-care. Decorate the way you love, but also this trend is dead and you’re a troll person if you do it that way.” 

As I write, it seems obvious now: There are many paths to a happy and fulfilling life, and I’ve been too caught up in finding the “right” ones from other people’s journeys instead of focusing on my journey and what’s best for me. I’ve learned that looking anywhere else other than my head and heart will just continue to add to the confusion and become overwhelming.

So, what does this all mean? Well, this year I’m hitting reset. I’m taking a sabbatical to figure out what I want, independent of external expectations—a year of curiosity.

I’m still trying to figure out what that looks like. In my many revisions of this post, I went back and forth about explaining my plans and thoughts but ultimately decided that it wasn’t necessary. This is because I’m still figuring it out and I want to avoid outside influences.

What I can tell you is that I’m doing what feels good and right for me. I’m going to show up with kindness, but I’m also going to work hard to not be bothered by what others think. Things will be quieter for me both here and on social media (namely Instagram because that’s the only place I am). Honestly, if I could disappear completely online for a year, I would … and maybe I still will. I haven’t figured it all out yet. 

I’m not sure if it’s age or just general personal growth, but my priorities are shifting. I’m caring less about things, less about money, less about what others think, and less about having a magazine-worthy home. Some things just don’t matter to me anymore and I feel this intense need to lean into that. I need to step off of this wheel of other people’s expectations that I’ve been on for years and stop and think about what’s right for me.  

So, this is where I am, and it feels like the right place to be. I don’t have concrete goals, plans, or intentions at this time, but I’m okay with that. They will come in time. I am looking forward to resting, resetting, and realigning. 

And if you’ve read this far, thank you; I am grateful for your understanding. If you’re in a similar place or have had a similar experience, I hope my words and thoughts offer some comfort and/or encouragement. Here’s to a beautiful, new, and joy-filled 2024.

(I also wanted to thank a few of you that reached out in my absence. I went from posting daily to not posting for three weeks. I sent out a newsletter at the end of the year mentioning I would be taking some time off. If you’re not on my mailing list and want to stay updated with things like this, art sales, etc. You can subscribe HERE.)