I suppose I owe you a life update. I invited you on this crazy journey, so I should keep you in the loop, right?

(For those of you who are new here: last June I moved to Pittsburgh. If you need to catch up, it all started here and here.)

As much I would like to tell you that moving to Pittsburgh has dramatically changed my life, made everything happier / better, and opened up oodles of opportunities, I can’t … yet. I had hoped that relocating would be enough. – That a different place, more people, new and exciting activities, etc. would be the ticket to opening me up to a supremely happy existence. However, it just didn’t happen. Part of me didn’t want to write this post because I am embarrassed to still be in much the same situation seven months after moving here.

I know I only have myself to blame. Although I went to events, markets, restaurants, coffees shops, etc., I didn’t give it enough, do enough, put myself out there enough, or try hard enough. I could list a million reasons (some better than others), but they’d just be excuses.

To be fair, it hasn’t all been miserable and unsuccessful. I’ve met some people and made a couple new friends, plus I’m genuinely enjoying this urban location. I find so much joy in visiting local coffee shops, experiencing new-to-me foods, seeing city sites, etc. I’m glad I’m here. I’m happy I took the risk of moving here. However, in my mind, I just thought I’d be further along. Great expectations I suppose.

With that being said, I’m excited 2018 is here. I’ve spent the past two weeks in kind of a haze, bummed about my current situation, but that has to end. It’s time to hit the reset button and try again. I’m not quite sure how yet, but I’m planning and working on ways to be where I want to be. In fact, last week I hired a life coach as recommended by a reader. I’m hoping to make many positive changes through that.

I do realize that some of you are sick of hearing the same story again and again. I get it. I hate telling it over and over. How many times have I made proclamations here only to find myself in the same situation a few months down the road? Too many to count. But I guess there is something to be said for continuing to try. Life may kick me down, but I’m not going to let it keep me down. I’ve got to get it correct one of these times, right?


A Life Update | Inspired by Charm

You also might be wondering about my house in St. Marys. Well, I sold it. I had no intention of doing so. However, a few months after my move, an opportunity presented itself, and I couldn’t say no. I knew the St. Marys house wasn’t my forever home, so it was time to let it go. It also happens that the folks who are buying the house want the contents, so packing up and moving shouldn’t be too hard. Naturally, I’ll be taking personal items, but I’m going to do my best to keep things to a minimum.

I’m not sad about selling, so please don’t be sad for me. I had a great run with that house, and thankfully, I have many pages here on IBC by which to remember it. If anything, I’m feeling anxious and unsettled about simply not having a “home.” Not the physical structure, but I place where I feel comfortable, a place where I belong.

So now what? Well, I’ve been house hunting in Pittsburgh. In fact, I was inches away from making an offer on a place, but my financing kept falling through. Even though things are in order now, and I could put in an offer today, I’m taking those many failed attempts as a sign from the universe to continue the search.

As grateful as I am for my apartment and the opportunities it’s given me, I can tell you that apartment living is not for me. I’m itching to be in a house again. Unfortunately, the housing market in Pittsburgh is rather slow this time of year, so my search for a house may take a little longer than I’d like. I suppose that’s a good thing though. It seems best not to rush things. It also gives me time to pause and figure out what I want and where I want to be.

So that’s what’s been going on in my personal life.

I had thought about including a bit about the blog and my direction for it, but I’ll save that for another post. In addition to my personal uncertainties, I’ve been struggling with the blog as well. (This was probably apparent in my almost three-week hiatus from IBC and social media.) I’m certain at some point I’ll reach out for your feedback and advice. Thanks for your patience in my absence.

I could go on and share more details, but I think that pretty much covers things. If you have questions, let me know in the comments, and I’ll do my best to answer them. I’m sure I’ve forgotten something.

As always, thank you for your love, support, and loyalty. You are dear to me.

Inspired By Charm Paint Colors

  • Colleen J at

    Oh, Michael…I completely understand where you at. I have often felt compelled to do something different only to end up in the same place where I started. Even with much effort, it can be hard. Pittsburgh is a great city, having moved away from there just a few years ago, back to my hometown of Toledo. Good luck in your house hunt! I wish you all the best in 2018!

    • Michael Wurm, Jr. at

      Thank you so much, Colleen! Hope you have a great year too.

      xo Michael

  • Alison at

    Thanks for the update. You have all of us pulling for you!! Genuinely hoping the 2018 is truly a year of new beginnings and great joy for you.

    • Michael Wurm, Jr. at

      Thank you Alison! Wishing the same for you!

      xo Michael

  • Carrie at

    I just Love everything about you. I’ve been following along for years, pulling for you.

    I am a bit of an introvert. It’s hard, hard, HARD for me to make new friends. I moved almost 2 years ago and struggled with a social group. So, I read How to Win Friends and Influence People. It helped. Then, I thought about the type of friends I wanted. When I saw qualities I liked in people out and about, I introduced myself. It has been hard. Not all people want someone trying to be a bestie. I never had someone do that for me and I would have loved it in darker, lonelier days of mine. Anyhow, I realized for ME I had to go out of my comfort level and actually BE the person snatching up friends left and right. I couldn’t wait for that person to find me.

    I’m sure life is difficult for you in your situation despite all the blessings you have. For me, you are a huge bright spot in my social media life. I don’t know you at all but I honestly, genuinely love all your posts and your energy.

    Keep on doing what you’re doing. Look for little ways to interact with peers. Throw a favorite things party (that was huge for me -I wanted free stuff from friends but the group that came was so much fun. We still do fun nights together.), just do what you want. Go be that person you want to be.


    • Michael Wurm, Jr. at

      Carrie, thank you so much for sharing all of this. It’s so comforting and helpful. (I will definitely be checking out that book.) I’m also so thankful to know you love what I share here and on social. There’s been a lot of self doubt in that department, so I appreciate hearing that. Thank you!!

      xo Michael

  • vanessa at

    Gosh Michael…so sorry this is happening. I have been there. like being very discontent with where I am at and unsure of next step-it is so frustrating. Recently, I have just been telling myself-maybe things are supposed to be like this for now and just go with it. Being frustrated and blue-is just not fun and being stressed ALL the time-ugh, horrible. My hope for you is to just be content-that is not failure. You are very successful-something you have to remind yourself of. I so enjoy you! I would sure interject some blog ideas if you need them. Sometimes reaching out to others really helps with creativity and also keeps you in touch with others! Good luck!

    • Michael Wurm, Jr. at

      Thank you so much Vanessa, I always appreciate you comments here. And yes, content is the goal. I think day-by-day may be the best approach. Thanks again!

      xo Michael

  • Hannah at

    Love this Michael! It’s so great to be open and honest! Life is not always peachy and I don’t think your readers think any less of you for being open about this. Some bloggers never show the not so pretty side, and that’s not real. We all have our ups and downs! You are so brave for writing about this many times! I’m so excited for you to find a house to call your own! Also i am so happy for you for the next coming weeks! I know it will be life changing and I don’t even know how to explain it! Don’t be too hard on yourself, people still love you even if you don’t have fresh content daily! I’m excited to see what you have in store for 2018! Just go at your own pace!! Hugs to you!

    • Michael Wurm, Jr. at

      It’s so great to hear all of this. Thank you Hannah. I’m excitied and hopeful for the future. Thank you!

      xo Michael

  • Kathy Kraemer at

    Thanks for the update. I don’t want to add more to you list , but I would love it if you wrote a book! You have so many great ideas and I often refer back to your blog for ideas and recipes. I just love your style and your creativity. Hang in there and best wishes!

    • Michael Wurm, Jr. at

      Thanks Kathy! Maybe SOMEDAY! 😉

      xo Michael

  • Karin K at

    Please don’t apologize for “these kinds of” posts – you really don’t do them often, and they are a part of who you are. I think you are incredibly brave, doing what you’re doing, and I am excited to see where this next step takes you. You really are my absolute favorite inspiration blog, and I have never gotten tired of your posts like I have occasionally with other bloggers. Keep your chin up!

  • Erin at

    Thanks for the update. I wished I lived in Pittsburgh so I could be friends with you!! I hope you get everything figured out.

    Will you be posting a recap on a final “house” tour of the house you sold? Would love it see it all final in one place. I’ve been following for years.

  • Trudy at

    I am a new follower, and I really like your style, and honesty. So many bloggers are pushing sales almost on a daily basis, not what I’m interested in. Stay try to younand you’ll be fine!

  • LTaylor at

    Don’t apologize for being so real! That’s so, so hard to come by on social media. How many of us have been where you are? Or are there now? 🙋🏼‍♀️ There’s comfort in knowing you aren’t alone. You’ll get there. It does feel a bit refreshing to start a new year and begin again, or keep going or whatever! You’re doing great. Best of luck with house hunting and buying-always love and appreciate your content. Xo

  • Ashley at

    I’m a newer reader, but I wanted to stop by and say I really appreciate your candor. Honestly, if you asked me for a “life update” right now it wouldn’t be glowing, either. But sometimes that’s how things are, and that’s ok. I’m a big believer that we learn from from every test and every trial. Hang in there, new friend.

  • Rachel at

    I have always been afraid of that “pause” and would rush around to not feel uncomfortable or fear. It never served me well. You are much wiser than I was at your age. Sit in the pause and try to savor this time. It took me more years than I am willing to admit but I have learned to love that time and seeking. I hope you do to. Wishing you the best of luck!

  • Stacy Risenmay at

    7 months is not very long in the grand scheme of things so don’t get too down about it. I am so excited for your house hunting journey. It will be fun to see where you land. I can’t wait to see you in Austin soon! You are the best 🙂

  • Josie at

    I just want to encourage you to find a church where you can come to know Jesus Christ. I think that is the friendship you are missing and searching for. I know some Reformed Presbyterian churches in the Pittsburgh area are very good. Reach out.

  • Amy | Delineate Your Dwelling at

    I don’t think a single person thinks less of you for dealing with the same things over and over… I’m pretty sure that is almost always how life goes. We are always just doing our best to take baby steps in any direction. We moved across the country this past August and I tell you, just getting your home slightly in order takes about a year it feels like– let alone all the plans and improvements, those take even longer! So, I would give yourself some grace of thinking you should be farther along at this point… I’m still definitely in the “looking for new friends” stage and only have one room slightly how I would like it to be. I hope you do find your excitement for the blog again… I sure do enjoy following along with you.

  • Britt at

    Hi Michael,

    I would echo the sentiment from the other comments at how much we appreciate you sharing your life which very much includes your personal journey and story!

    Please give yourself the grace to work through this time in your life. Change takes time, hard work and a lot of time spent outside your comfort zone to get there! Keep at it, keep your head up and keep us updated so we can encourage you along the way. Don’t allow the Instagram filtered world of others be your measurement, I hope you seek your own happiness and peace and recognize how much light you bring to the world just by being yourself!

    Wishing you all the best in 2018.

  • Nicole at

    I think you are great!! I like these posts. A life coach sounds like a great sounding board and guide. I wish I lived in Pittsburgh.

  • Tanya Derrey Bingham at

    I indentify with you so much, and find myself questioning where I’m at, what’s next. I had someone tell me when they feel like this they just do the next thing. Then the next thing after that, until things begin to feel more settled. And to have grace with ourselves, that one is hard. Hugs from WA xoxo Tanya

  • Phillip || SouthernFATTY.com at

    Totally happens! I think so highly of you for sharing this with everyone. A lot of people will certainly relate, as we’ve all been through these kinds of experiences at one time or another. How you handle it is most definitely what is important. You’re killing it and will keep doing so in the future, I’m sure. You’re a gem, and I’m excited to see what the future brings for you!

  • Karen Mary at

    So many warm wishes coming your way. You put so much beauty out there, Michael, and enhance so many people’s lives with your blog. I’m launching a blog next month, and—while we have different topics—I hope mine is half as meaningful to readers as yours! You’re an inspiration!

  • Christine E-E at

    Ummmm. As much as you think life is easier or better for people around you, MOST are in the same situation as you…. I call it “trying to figure out what I want to BE when I grow up” phase. And, I think that’s where you are right now. You have a new place, but haven’t found your people yet. Give it Time! The LIFE COACH appointment sounds like a fabulous start…. I was wondering if you are still thinking your current city is the place to be? Originally, I thought you said it was driveable from the house you just sold & it had a lot of the character you were seeking. MAYBE, there is another location that would serve you better?? A LIFE COACH would be able to help you figure that out. Have you thought about joining the Chamber of Commerce or a similar organization where you could meet new people? how about a dinner club? book club? or a gathering of people who have similar interests as you!! Something to consider. I would bet next year at this time you’ll be able to report that you’ve found a “niche” and have the comraderie of a group of people to enjoy all life has to offer! A final note… needing to take a break from social media is NOT a bad thing. It’s not an ALL OR NOTHING situation. We admire your honest, thoughtful posts as well as your creativity in design, cooking and home decor.

  • Christine E-E at

    Another thought…. have you considered traveling abroad…. taking a tour of your favorite country or two might be enlightening…. new decor & design ideas. new experiences. new friends. new subject matter for social media content. Maybe your best adventure for right now! It’s harder to travel when you have the responsibilities of home ownership. You’re young & the benefits from travel are amazing! Sign up for a two week tour with a reputable company & pack your bag.

  • SARA at

    You are an inspiration. Many people wouldn’t be as brave as you are to be so real and raw. I think we all go through times where we are lost,or just don’t feel like ourselves. I know i have. I don’t know you personally but, I only wish the best for you. I hope you find the path that leads you to the most joy and happiness a person can have.

  • Lindsay at

    The new year is always a hard time for me. Instead of the blank slate full of possibilities it seems to be for everyone else, it always feels like a reminder of the things I wanted that didn’t happen the year before. In 2017 I had 4 big goals for the year, and if I were to write down goals for 2018 they would be exactly the same. None of the big things I wanted happened, and not for lack of trying. It can be depressing. But what I’m trying (not always successfully) is to focus on the good things that DID happen. I hope you know how inspiring you are to people you don’t even know, and I hope you find the happiness you’re looking for. You have lots of people on your side!

  • Kim at

    I love seeing your life posts as well as the IBC ones. Prayers for your finding your way through this and being even better on the other side.

  • Mia at


  • Val at

    Hi Michael, I am in agreement with all of the wonderful people who commented prior to me about this blog post. I am going through a very tough life transition right now and it’s not easy. It’s hard not to compare yourself to where other peers are and that can bring you down or what you’re “expected” to be doing. After I was so hard on myself for many failed relationships or opportunities, I realized that each taught me something invaluable, even though I sure did not think it at the time. The greatest lesson was patience and recently, short term goals. Short ones to realistically live by and accomplish.
    And sometimes, we get so lost in our own bubble that we just do not see that so many others around us have trials they are going through, too. We just may fall down the rabbit hole of this is what we “should” be doing.
    We all know nothing is easy and it will come together with hard work and patience.
    I think the life coach is a fantastic idea and that may be just the soundboard you need to begin finding out who you really are and what inspires you.
    Best of luck with everything and I look forward to your posts this year, weaving us through your creativity and your personal updates. I’m excited for the journey! 😊

  • Carolyn at

    I’m in the same, yet opposite boat right now. A year ago we moved to Wyoming from Houston and it’s just not even close to what I thought. I love your blog and insta. Best of luck!!

    • Michael Wurm, Jr. at

      I feel ya. Sending lots of love your way. Hope you find your footing soon.

      xo Michael

  • Elizabeth B at

    I follow three blogs and yours is one that inspires me. You write as if we are sitting around a kitchen table and talking to us as friends. Thank you and continue to be yourself because that is what we as your followers like about you. Looking forward to future updates 😊

    • Michael Wurm, Jr. at

      I’m so honored to be part of the three you follow. Honestly. Thank you for your kind words and continued support.

      xo Michael

  • Alice at

    I’m a new reader and I’m old enough to be your grandma, and this post breaks my heart. You are amazing and so talented. I’m sure your life will turn around soon. Hang in there!

    • Michael Wurm, Jr. at

      Thank you, Alice. But don’t let it break your heart – here’s hoping it’s just a stepping stone. Thanks for reading.

      xo Michael

  • Mandi Pike/Mementos at

    Happy New Year Michael! I’ve been following you since the early B&B days and have ALWAYS been inspired by what you are doing at the time! Including now! You just took 3 weeks off like the rest of us. Time to regroup and decide what 2018 will be like! Sell the house, travel a bit, take some time to just be. OR get that new house, jump head first in to decorating and making it home! Both sound like great options….the cool thing is that you have options! You are so talented, you will succeed at whatever you decide to do. Hugs from California!

    • Michael Wurm, Jr. at

      I love your perspective and attitude, Mandi! Thank you so much. Hope you have a great year!

      xo Michael

  • Mairi at

    Sorry it has been proving so hard for you but delighted you are oushing through and going for the reboot.
    I love your style and your personality and find both inspiring!
    Wishing you all the best on this next stage of your journey 💕

    • Michael Wurm, Jr. at

      Thank you Mairi! <3

      xo Michael

  • Linda Hanson at

    Love you,Michael! You are such an inspiration. So glad to see your update. With your talent and love of life, things are bound to improve.

  • Sherry at

    Hey, Michael! I’ve been following you for a long time. I absolutely adore you and your style. This post exposes your vulnerability and is the most touching, authentic blog post I have read in quite some time. Not many bloggers(or people) are willing to let down their walls like you have. So refreshing! I struggle daily with self doubt, so I haven’t stepped out to start my business or blog and it’s been buried in my heart for YEARS!

    I’m just finishing reading “Crash the Chatterbox” by Steven Furtick and it has blown my mind when it comes to fears and doubt creeping in. It’s faith-based, if that matters, just FYI. Also, following Jennifer Allwood on FB is quite empowering, especially for creative business owners. Check her out!

    And for just living your best life in general, Rachel Hollis ROCKS!!!! She runs a digital media company in LA, The Chic Site. Seriously, has helped me in more ways than I can even mention. Her audience is primarily female but the life altering truths that slay the lies we believe about ourselves applies to everyone! Follow her on Facebook.

    Lastly, you took a risk and moved to a new area, just because. That took courage! A huge leap of faith! Searching for that elusive “thing”, even if you aren’t sure what the thing is is something that 99% of people only talk about but never act on. Keep on keeping on because you are quite inspiring! You do you, live your best life! Xoxoxoxoxo

  • Geraldine at

    Hugs to you Michael. Your creativity, ideas, and inspiration bring a lot of joy to me and your other readers. The life coach sounds like a great way to stay on track with achieving your dreams.

  • Amy at

    Thanks for sharing Michael! I’m super proud of you for all the risks you take. You’re a great inspiration to many!! Wishing you lots of love and everything you desire and deserve! Cheers to a new and fabulous year!!

  • loly at

    happy to hear from you. love your voice and honesty, I think the truth is more people struggle but are too afraid to admit it. No shame, no worries. You actually get unlimited do-overs. Enjoy the ride. Fall in total love with you. Do what feeds your soul. Ultimately you are the only one you have to please, Thanks for sharing your journey with us!

  • Liz Marie at

    I loved reading this update. I think of you often & I hope you know how loved you are by so many. You are so inspiring & we are all rooting you on. I can’t tell you how much I can relate to so much of what you said… so so much. You are not alone. Hugs friend! xx

  • Sarah at

    I’ve felt that “haze” too, and this sounds a lot like how I felt for most of 2016. It took a while, but I am in a totally different place now, and I’m so glad I allowed myself a little forgiveness then. I now realize it was “before ___” and leading me to really great things. So, you don’t be too hard on yourself about “should” and savor these “before” moments. After it came love and deeper friendships and some personal growth I really needed. From the looks of the comments above, you have plenty of people rooting for you too! I am excited to see what 2018 will bring you. Also, I am pretty sure this might be the first year I will be at the same conference as you, so I hope we get to actually meet! First glass o’ wine is on me! 😉 Best wishes for 2018!

    • Andrea Smoak at

      Hi Sarah,

      I had a chance to visit your website and it’s awesome. I’m so happy you’re back on track and inspiring others. I also had to follow on Insta.

  • Dana at

    Thank you so much for your post. I am a log time reader. I am so inspired by your candor and bravery. It’s not easy to admit things aren’t where you want them to be. I think you will find most everyone can relate to a season in our lives like that. Praying this tough season for you makes way for lots of wonderful opportunities, growth and happiness. Thank you for your continued inspiration, both with your honesty and design! ❤️

  • Andrea Smoak at

    Hello Micheal,

    It’s your Girlfriend Next Door, Andrea. I have followed you for years now, and to be honest you were one my first inspirations for blogging. I too have struggled with moving and finding friends. Hence, why I started, Your Girlfriend Next Door, it simply started as a way for me to express myself.
    I have moved to four states, supporting my husband’s career, and boy it has not been easy. I find as you get older it’s really difficult penetrating friend circles and winning peoples trust. I feel in society we have this one eye open mentality. Not to be bombed I have just simply tried to fall in love with myself and truly send out positive energy, in hopes that will come back to me. Honestly, I have found myself communicating with people online more and more. At first, I was afraid, but I noticed we were all in the same boat. I’ve found some really cool people, but as you know it not the same as having your go-to tribe around the corner.
    I commend you for your courage. I think, you have created a safe place, IBC, not only do you inspire, but it feels real and we all have connected with you. Honestly, I know you’re on your journey of discovery and direction but I do have one question. You have such knowledge and been such an inspiration to many. Have you ever thought about consulting? Sometimes feeding into others can be so rewarding. If you ever, please allow me to be your first client!!! You have touched so many hearts around the country and abroad, and as I mentioned to you before your gift is contagious. I’m not sure what your plans are or what your biggest dream actually looks like, but you’ve been my inspiration and I would simply like to say thank you. Each time I visit IBC, I smile and leave extremely happy and inspired.

  • Elaine at

    Thank you for being so candid. Talking helps so keep bending our ears. We are all here for you and supporting you from afar. What you are feeling is quite normal and I’m sure most of us can relate. You are not alone. Us cyber friends are here for you!

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