future office or guest bedroom
gift shoppe or future studio / office
Yep, that’s my house. Nothing stylized. Nothing cropped out or edited. That’s it in all of it’s wonderful and messy glory. I’m calling all of the above pictures “the before,” so please don’t judge me too harshly. While there are aspects of each picture that I love, I obviously have a lot work to do. Since I’m showing you these spaces at their worst, they can only get better, right? If starting is half the battle, this is my start. I have a bedroom that I need to make “my own” rather than a space I’ve created for guests. I have a hole in my ceiling with wires hanging out. I have stacks of books that have no home, empty walls, a pink room with a black flowered border. I could go on and on.
As I alluded to on Monday, I’ve been in a bit of a rut. I’m not sure why, or how it happened, but I’m in deep. For the past couple months I’ve been in survival mode – only doing what’s necessary to get by. I go to bed, wake up the next day, and do it all over again. Of course, I’m thinking the whole time that the next day will be different. Now, I don’t really want this to be a Debbie Downer sort of post. I’m just trying to get out of this hot mess and I’m hoping this post will help in some way. Maybe not, but it’s worth a shot, right? Either way, I need to find my mojo to start creating again. I want to make this house my home and share the process with all of you.
I was talking to a friend online today, and she said, “You’re in the worst place right now.” While that may seem kind of harsh, it’s the kind of honesty I wanted and needed to hear. She went on to say, “Right now you’re climbing up hill. You gotta get to the top before you can come down. You just can’t make it a priority to pine for something you don’t have. Fill your life with things you CAN control.”
These past several months I’ve had my eyes only on the future, both personally and professionally. Instead of celebrating all the wonderful things that are right in front of me (amazing blog opportunities and partnerships, beautiful friends and family, my health and home), I’ve been obsessed, yes literally obsessed, with finding “better” things (someone to share my life with, more opportunities, fancier things). I’ve been searching for joy and happiness. Little did I know that it was literally sitting right in front of me. I have been so focused on the future that I have been ignoring all the beautiful things in my present. I stumbled across this article thanks to another friend. While the entire piece is wonderful, the final paragraph really summed up the the article beautifully. It reads, “We should base our happiness on the life we are living – on the beauty that is already ours, on desires that don’t shift from moment to moment. We choose to find our happiness now – in life itself. In fact, we don’t even need to ‘find’ happiness. We can be happiness. Stop searching. Stop chasing. Happiness is already here.”
I’m not sure if this post really has a point, but I thought it was only fair to explain to you where I’m at in life right now. Yes, as the pictures show, things are a bit ugly and messy. While I can’t say I’m completely out of my rut, I’m feeling a lot better than I did yesterday. I’m feeling a little more inspired. So, please stick with me.
You are all amazing, and I’m so thankful to those of you who have emailed and responded in the comments over the past few months. Without even putting this out there, you’ve realized something was different and have offered words of encouragement and support. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that.
While attempting to get my life back in order, I’m also looking closely at IBC and where I want it to go and what I want it to be. With a new blog design (coming soon) and a switch to WordPress, I’m excited about the plethora of possibilities. Since all of you are such a huge part of this, I would really love and appreciate your feedback. What do you love about IBC? What do you dislike (please be constructive)? What do you desperately want more of? What do you miss? Seriously, tell me everything. I need a little help. We’re in this together. Please don’t make me beg.
Thank you for allowing me to share this hot mess of a post with you and for allowing me to be me, especially at times like this. You rock.