A Life Makeover | inspiredbycharm.com #BehindtheCharm

Oh goodness. I’ve been trying to put together a post for this page for more than a week. I kid you not. I have three drafts written. What happens is I get several paragraphs in and the post ends up being this sad rant. Even though I created this part of IBC to share that type of post, I also don’t want this space to become a pit of sadness.

So, being in a different headspace at the moment, I figured it was a good time to pop in. To summarize the three drafts: I was trying to explain the fact that the past 18 months have been sort of crappy for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some amazing experiences and opportunities. For instance, I’m out of my mind grateful for the the life I get to live. Seriously. Completely humbled. (I even touched on this briefly in my 2015 recap on IBC.) Now, I could list and complain about all the things that have been crappy this past year or so, but that wouldn’t do me or you any good. In all honesty, it really doesn’t matter. The last thing I want is for you to “feel bad” for me. Please, don’t feel bad for me.

Because what I’ve determined is that I only have myself to blame. For a long time I’ve done a really good job at complaining about things. And while these things may be complaint worthy, this tactic is clearly not getting me anywhere. And having you feel bad for me won’t get me anywhere. What I really need is a swift kick in the rear.

(And please don’t take that the wrong way. I totally love and appreciate your sweet messages and kind words. Of course, I love every one, and they certainly make my heart happy and bring a smile to my face.)

For a long time I’ve been waiting for someone or something to “rescue me.” And the greatest lesson that I’ve learned over the past year is that isn’t going to happen. If I want something to change, I just need to change it. If I’m unhappy on my current path, I need to try another.

So basically, I’m just at this point where I need a life makeover. As much as I love my home and town, lately I’ve been feeling a little stuck here. And maybe “stuck” isn’t the right word. I could say I’ve “outgrown” this place, but that’s not right either because at their core, my town, my family, and my friends are awesome. Basically, I need something more. I haven’t been in a relationship since I moved home eight years ago. While, I mostly do fine on my own (I’m an extroverted introvert.), my heart is just aching for something or someone. And while I realize that not all relationships are perfect, and that we shouldn’t “need” someone to complete us, I still kind of want to give it a try, and it’s just not happening here. And it’s not just that. I also miss the cultural and opportunities of a larger area. Call me crazy, but I love little coffee shops, funky stores, outdoor concerts, etc. – and those things just aren’t here.

I’m not saying that I want to pick up and move. But maybe there’s an opportunity out there where I can live here part time and somewhere else the rest of the time. The best of both worlds. I know that might sound too cold to be true, but a guy can dream. And the first part of making a dream come true is putting it out into the universe, right?

However, it’s more than location and connection that needs to change. As you long-time readers are well aware, I’m a heart-on-my-sleeve kinda guy. I assumed that my skin would get thicker, and I have become less chicken-hearted over the years, but I think the opposite is happening. Lately, I tend to take things very personally and get hurt way too easily. And while some things are justifiable, and we shouldn’t accept less than we deserve, I think that I could do better if just let criticism and snarky comments roll off my back.

Does all of that make sense? Again, I’m only scratching the surface here, but hopefully you get where I’m coming from.

I also wanted to mention that things may slow down on IBC for the next few weeks with only 2 or 3 posts per week. I’m super excited to be working with a cruise line again, so I’m heading off on a cruise in the very near future. I will be preparing content in advance, but it definitely won’t make for 4 or 5 posts per week. While there will be content on IBC during my time away, I’m also thinking about popping in here on Behind the Charm to do a bit of journaling while I’m away. Something casual. I’m not making any promises, but be sure to check back in.

Anyway, I decided to go on the cruise alone because I’m hoping that it will give me some time to reflect, think, and make a game plan for the future. As a creative person, It’s incredibly challenging (for me at least) for me to be inspiring when I’m bummed out or when my brain is full of so much garbage that I can’t think freely. And I know that sounds oddly close to complaining, but it’s really not. It’s simply the truth. My hope is that some time away will provide clarity and allow me to figure out the best way to move forward.

I’m honestly not quite sure what I’m trying to say here or what my point is with all of this, but I’m ready and excited for a change. Without all the icky / complain-y details, I hope that better explains where I am these days. If you have questions, thoughts, or advice feel free to keep the conversation going in the comments or shoot me an email. Above all, thanks for reading.

Until next time.

Posted By at 7:02 PM
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Comments

  • Vanessa at

    Hi Michael,
    I can so relate to your post…and I was one of those people that was a little worried about you even though we are strangers. I feel like I get it-we are very much the same (I think). One of the things I have done recently is COMPLAIN way too much! It does nothing for you; there is NO gain and honestly it is just bad and wrong. I am trying really hard not to talk about being pissed or angry. I also have ditched one of my friends who was constantly negative and always took me down into her stuff- until finally I said-I can’t do it anymore. It feels better already.

    If I can be really honest-I see you living somewhere else. I know you love your family-but I think a warm climate and lots of culture would be great for you-it is what I would do if I were your age and know what I know now…don’t get stuck, you don’t have to.

    Finally, and this might be strange to say, but I always feel better and more content when I help other people. Maybe you do this already-but volunteering at a school or something like that might really lift you up. Or serving others in some way.

    Good luck to you-I only wish the best for you-Good vibes only!

    • Caitlin at

      I agree! You have a beautiful home, but I could see you really thriving living somewhere else! A bigger city with more things happening. Also, I don’t know if you are ready for a change of career or anything like one of the other comments suggested, as you seem to love what you do and are good at it, but I have to say that working from home, on your home, can be really lonely and isolating. I think you need to be somewhere where there is more energy and liveliness (and maybe it wouldn’t hurt to have a part of your job where you leave the house a little more and interact with more people?). I’m also an extroverted introvert and when I worked from home I thought I would go crazy! I needed more interaction with people on a daily basis! I became so depressed at home all the time! Best of luck figuring out what is best for you! I’m also in the midst of making a big life-changing decision (thinking about moving across the country with my husband to go to grad school), and I keep being reminded that we rarely regret the chances we did take, but only regret the ones we didn’t take. I think you should take a risk! Make a change! You won’t regret doing something that will be good for your soul!

  • Colin at

    I think that a get away vacation will be great and sounds like it is just want you need. I’m sure things will turn around. I live in a huge city and after reading your post it makes me stop and think about all the things I’m surrounded by that I take for grant.

  • Rosey at

    Hi Michael! I hope you have a blast on your cruise & get involved in a lot of their activities. I’m a huge fan of cruises. Since you seem open to some advice, I would like to suggest a complete change from your current lifestyle/routine just to give you a fresh perspective. Several years ago, my daughter badly needed a “change” in her life, and she ended up at the Florida School of Massage Therapy. I believe it was about a 6 month program that provided her with a means to really get in touch with herself, as well as with others. Now she has a successful massage therapy practice in a very respected, licensed medical field that did not take years of studying, and she provides a needed therapeutic service to many clients. She is still her own boss, sets her own hours, has time for other pursuits, etc. She received financial aid from the school to help finance her program. Before that, she telecommuted from home but was too isolated. She needed to be around people more. I don’t know much about your background, but I have followed your blog for a few years now. Maybe something totally different from what you are doing now would give you a fresh outlook. It did wonders for my daughter (she’s in her 40s). Maybe not massage therapy, but something completely different from your norm would be good for you too. I look forward to your posts everyday; they make me happy!

  • Anna Mack Severn at

    Michael I love these behind the scenes posts. I know you receive lovely comments every day, but I was JUST chatting to the Dash CG guys about how ridiculously talented you are. Funny timing. Your photos alone are the stuff of my dreams. It may feel isolating being where you are, but this blog community is definitely brighter for your presence in it. I’ve been in a similar emotional place lately so I can sympathize. I’m taking myself on a vacation Friday to do the same thing you’re doing. Get outta dodge, relax, have some fun and come back to the real world with a fresh perspective. I hope you enjoy the heck out of your vacation. If you keep putting positive vibes out there in the world, good things will come back to you. You should go read “You Are a Badass!”. Best book for this kind of funk and for gaining insight 🙂

  • Dami at

    You know what they say about opinions, but anyhow here is mine.
    You just need new adventures and someone to experience those new, awesome
    Adventures with ??

  • Lisa at

    Do you hear the expletives spewing from my mouth?! I just wrote a very long, heartfelt response to this post – only to accidentally delete it trying to make a spelling correction. There isn’t any way I can retrieve my words so I will make this short. Follow your gut. Don’t try to please anyone but yourself. Last year I quit my job and moved across country. A big deal for someone who lived in the same area for over 25 years. This move wasn’t for any reason that would wow strangers with a great tale. I did it for many small reasons that only I fully understand. It hasn’t been easy financially and it’s been lonely but I knew everything would get better with time. Thankfully this has been true and I do not regret my decision. So what it comes down to is what will you have wished you had done differently at this juncture in your life when you look back 30 years from now?

  • Gail at

    Michael thank you for sharing this with us. I have loved following your Instgram and blog and even though I don’t know you personally you feel like a friend. Your pictures and posts have made me smile often but I honestly feel like I have sensed your unrest the last few months. You have so many talents Michael ( cook, baker, interior decorator, photographer, writer) but if you are feeling like something or someone is missing you owe it to yourself to do whatever it takes to find it/them. I have a feeling you are ready for something bigger out there and I hope you will be brave enough to take the leap and move forward with all of your heart and passion. Be afraid, be scared silly, but do it any way so you will have no regrets. It is up to you to create the life you want for yourself.

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